Tuesday, February 16, 2010

I Think My Dad Hates Me...Venting Post

Who am I? My name is Angie, I'm 33 years old and a mother of 3 boys, ages 5, 3 & 2. I am not married, but I've been with Adam (who is the only man I've ever been with), for almost 8 years now. I'm honest, I would not or even could not lie if my life depended on it. I graduated high school in 1994, not an honor student, but I did it! I didn't get my license until I was 22 years old, which I bought myself my first car when I was working full time at the Vermont Teddy Bear company. I was a hard and loyal worker. I worked a 2nd job at night and weekends at a seafood restaurant.

After I met Adam, we dated for awhile before he moved in with me at my own home. I lived in a trailer at a trailer park that yes, my dad bought, but not for me, for my brother and his ex-wife, who was only married to for only 2 or 3 months before she left him and took his baby too. They only lived in the trailer for about 4 months. My brother decided to move out and my cousin and I moved in. My cousin on lived with me for about 3 months then she moved to South Carolina. So even though there was no mortgage, and my parents didn't want me to pay rent, I still had to pay $250 a month for lot rent, lights, satellite, phone, groceries, fuel and etc. I did it all by myself. Even when Adam moved in with me about a year and half later, he lost his job, so I still had to pay all the bills. I think I'm very responsible.

So you maybe wondering where is "I thing my dad hates me" comes in. Well ever since I can remember, my father has crisized me any way he can. Make me look dumb, not responsible and thinking I have something over my mom, that's why were so "close". OMG! The first time he said that to me I fricken laughed. He thought my mom and I were to close. I know a lot of mother's and daughters who are closes just like us. My mom is my best friend, and I am hers. My dad has always been jealous of my mom and my relationship.

Now years later, it's still the same thing, the only difference is my mom and dads relationship has slumped and I personally think they should get a divorce. They've been together for 35 years and are very unhappy, or at least I know my mom is. My dad is 66 years old, very lazy, has never in the 35 years of their marriage made a meal for my mom. He works 4 hours a day Monday through Friday. My mom works 8 hours a day, Friday through Wednesday, that's six days a week. She has to be up at 3:30 in the morning to get ready and be at work for 5am. She comes home and around 2 o'clock, relaxes on the computer for a bit, then starts preparing dinner. Mean while my dad is sitting in the living room, watching westerns or game shows on TV, that's all he does.

What really bothers me the most, is my mom will make dinner and he just expects her to make dinner. Never does he thank her or just say, honey don't worry about dinner, sit down, I'll make something for you tonight. He is so ungrateful.

My dad really believes there is nothing wrong with him, it's everyone else who has the problem, not him. My mom deserves to be happy, and truely he don't provide her with that. The only thing he worries about, is the fact that he hasn't had sex in ? years. As far as I believe, a relationship is not about sex, it's about love, sharing, caring and respect.

So, with all the above, my dad will blame me for all of this. We've got in to big arguments about stupid stuff and stuff that not even important. I swear his intellect is going down, and down, and down. He's acting more of a 16 year old instead of a 66 year old.

My mom mention that she would like to get a chicken coop in the spring. My father refuses, he say's as long as he's working he will buy the eggs. Come on, he don't want it, because then he'll have to do some work. He is rotting in his tracks, I swear.

I know he is my father and I'm suppose to love him, which I think I do. I don't want anything bad to happen to him and I do have say he does help me when I need a babysitter, which I tell him that I appreciate it every time he does so.

I just wish he could be more of a loving dad, who wants the best for his little girl. But I don't think that will happen. I also wish he could love and respect my mom more. If did, things may change. The problem is, he thinks only about himself, he's number one.

Well enough of my venting, I just had to get this off my chest.


LMJ said...

I think many times, that's why many of us have a blog, so we can vent once in a while. My older brother seems a lot like your dad.

sharonjo said...

I've thought a lot about this post over the past few days. I wish I could help you sort all this out. It sounds like you are a hard-working and capable person who can take care of herself, so be proud of yourself for that! When you encounter criticism, often the best response is silence--and success. I really wish you well.

Angie said...

Thank you so much for the kind words. Silence is what I try to do, though there are times I would like to scream, but he is my father and I will respect him, no matter what.



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